This morning on the bus, I overheard a conversation. I did not have a newspaper to read or a Blackberry to keep me busy, so I kept busy on the personal lives of all the other passengers. Unfortunately, I wish I hadn’t heard it.
A man and a woman to my left, further back in the bus, sat in silence until the man broke it with “My ass hurts.”
The woman was probably at least a friend of his, and asked, “Did you hurt it by sitting on your fat ass too much?”
“No, but I’m pretty sure how. It kind of sucks.”
The woman was amused at his pain. She asked, “What did you do?”
“Well, a week ago I didn’t see that there was only one sheet of toilet paper on the roll. When I used it, I was stuck on the toilet. I leaned over to get another roll from under the sink, but when I looked, there wasn’t one there either. I thought for a few minutes, and then I grabbed something else from the bathroom.”
“Eww! A Towel?” She was horrified. So was the woman next to her.
“No! No, I tried a tissue.”
She looked at him, and he looked back with sincerity.
“It was actually kind of comfortable. Much softer than toilet paper, but– I don’t know, I guess I must have had a reaction, because I’ve had a rash off and on for the last week.”
Everyone within earshot was wiggling in their seats.
