Vacation Over

So, I took another long vacation without telling my adoring fans (*crickets chirping*).  Anyway, the results on my first test are in, and after two weeks of waiting… only one person who searched with one of my adjectives came to the site.  “Unexplained thing in the air” is not at all interesting either.  As a matter of fact, this person could have searched “ufo” to say the same thing.  Uggh, failure.  Hopefully my second test will yield more satisfying results.

To make matters worse, two bad things happened to me recently.  First off, the power adapter to my laptop stopped working while I was on vacation, trying desperately to find a wireless internet connection to hijack.  According to my girlfriend fiancee, there was a spark; I only heard a pop and fizzle behind me.  This post is being written at work after hours– how pathetic.

Secondly, there is a boa on the loose in my building.  The upstairs tenant says he went missing a couple days ago, and that he might be getting hungry.

Yes!

I told you I was very happy yesterday.  Let me tell you why: I was about to engage my girlfriend.  The crazy part is, later that night she accepted.  I’m not very open about my personal life, so I do not want to give away any details of our relationship other than the way I popped the question.  First we saw left to see a late movie.  It was “sold out.”  Then we looked for a taxi home, but he “got lost.”  He took us through a nice, though unfamiliar neighborhood, claiming it was a shortcut.  Next thing we knew we were on the other side of the Hudson river.

We left the car and I led her a few steps forward to a perfectly placed picnic on the green overlooking the skyline.  So in Liberty State Park, with so many beautiful lights from the skyscrapers and in her eyes, I proposed.

Thanks go to my friends for helping me out.

Comic Anxiety: …Oh crap!

I did not know what I was looking at at first.  Through my living room window, I can see my neighbor’s living room.  He’s a sixty-year-old man, and I never thought he had a wife.

As I said, I did not know what I was looking at at first.  It looked like a shaking, spotted mass on his bed.  I saw no heads.  Nothing that could have suggested it was an older couple having sex.

As I said, I was looking at it but I could not identify it.  Not only that, it was apparently going on for a while before I saw it out of the corner of my eye.  My girlfriend saw it, but she pretended she did not.

You can just imagine what happens when I finally do see it.  She thought that I was perverted, and it took a lot to convince her otherwise.  “Do they always do that with the shades open?”  I didn’t even know he had a wife!  I’ve never seen her around, so…

The creepiest thing about it is my apartment is seperated by a two and a half foot alley by his.  I was only about five feet away from the window.  The bed was only two feet from his (approximately anyway).  I was less than ten feet from… auugh!

I feel violated